I had just begun teaching the next segment of our Parakaleo retreat when I realized the handout I needed wasn’t available. Everything I was planning on doing for the next 2 hours flowed from that one handout. I froze for a moment and then started frantically looking through my notes for another option. I could feel myself starting to panic. My emotional response was bigger than what the situation called for. After all, it was just one handout. We could easily have taken a break, regrouped and changed course.

While it may not happen to you while speaking, some version of this experience happens to all of us in one way or another. Maybe it’s at church. You can’t believe what a member just said and you’d really like to give him a piece of your mind. The familiar argument with your teenager surfaces once again. Or your husband is overly despondent about Sunday’s sermon and seems to be blaming you for leaving him with the kids that weekend.

When emotions are bigger than what the situation calls for, we are experiencing a re-enactment. Something is surfacing from our past. Stop talking about the circumstances, and instead process what is happening. If this happens with your spouse consider asking him the following:

What are you feeling?

Will you let me hold you?

What is going on inside of you?

How did we get here?

When did you feel this way before?

John wasn’t with me in Mexico but I had teammates. After our session ended we went back to our room and  processed as a team. The following day I was able to ask the group what they observed about the episode. By processing with my team before hand, the shame demon was put to bed. By speaking about it openly during the retreat we experienced the Gospel once again. If those at the retreat didn’t believe beforehand the truth about our brokenness, they got a small glimpse of it in me last week. But more importantly, we were able to experience how belief in Christ’s love on our behalf gives us freedom to mess up, freedom to not walk in shame, freedom to be disappointed and freedom to walk in joy in spite of how well or how poorly we do at any given moment. You won’t be surprised to hear, God showed up in a majestic way that last day of our retreat.

Shari Thomas

With all of the discussion and debate about masculinity and what God intends for men, I can’t help but point out the obvious: most of them are written by men, for men, and there is far less by and for women.

Continue reading →

Elizabeth Turnage has been a great resource for us at Parakaleo. Try her timeline story tool and while you’re at it, check her out at www.livingstorygrace.com.

Do you ever feel like you’re in a story you can’t get a grip on? Or perhaps you’re making plans for moving into a new story? In last week’s amazing wonderful retreat for Mitchell Road Pres in Greenville, I mentioned using timelines both for catching a glimpse of what God has already done in our story, and for envisioning where he might be taking us. Continue reading →

You know who you are.  You carry the weight of ministry with your husband. You encourage him when ministry overwhelms him.  You see the Saturday night agonies and the Sunday night exhaustion. You lead teams, teach classes, arrange events, coordinate details, or play music. You visit the sick, help counsel engaged couples, or celebrate new life with a baby shower.  You might help renovate your house (the one your tight budget could handle) with a baby on your hip.  You may work full or part time outside the home (meaning someone pays you) to help keep the family afloat. You dream after God’s heart with your husband, or help him cast a vision for what God’s group of beautiful, broken people—the church—should look like in your city or town.

Continue reading →

While walking through the park yesterday, a bush filled with singing birds captured my attention.  I stopped, mesmerized. Upon returning home I pulled out my pencils and art paper, researched feathered-friends on the internet and proceeded to think about rare fowl pencil drawings while ignoring the many emails piling up on my computer.  Before plunging into my drawing project, the crisp winter day called for a cup of tea.

This morning I found the cold tea untouched on the coffee table along with the drawing pencils. In another corner of our small apartment a stack of Christmas Cards is waiting to be sent. My plan was to go to the Corner Café yesterday, address them and send as New Year’s cards, but seeing the sunny day I thought I’d walk through the park first. As you already know, the birds took it from there. Continue reading →

“The Broken Body” is a snapshot of one Sunday in my life as an urban pastor’s wife, feeling the brokenness of this world that Jesus died to save.

I

Sunday, 11:00 a.m.

Sam was home from Arabia

where his wife must stay shrouded

where two volunteer American nurses

were found with their throats slit like goats

where his friends were kidnapped

and their small blonde daughters

were found a year later speaking only Arabic,

their parents and infant brother presumed dead.

Where his friend Amin was arrested

and the police told his father, Your son had a Bible

and the old man said,

Then I have no son.

I saw Sam’s unsteady gait, quick tears,

his pores seeping sweat and pain,

heard him say, We are not doing well. 

Continue reading →

Your Story Through the Lens of God’s Story

When you look at your life, what do you see? How do you make sense of the world around you? Of the thoughts inside you? How is your story unique? How is your story similar to all other stories in the world? How did it all start? What went wrong? How is it going to get fixed? How will it end? Continue reading →

Yes, we are a few weeks away from 2012. Christmas is around the corner and you may ask; ‘So what? How does this season of the year affects my season of life?’

I am currently experiencing a very difficult season as my mother-in-law – Deise, who lives in Brazil, is rapidly loosing cognitive abilities and is confused and in distress. She has served the Lord intensely for over 60 years and was always known for her words of wisdom and knowledge of the Lord. Deise was the person to look for if you were confused and in distress. She has been for many years like a second mother to me and I feel like she has already left, but not…

Continue reading →